In our personal lives, including family life or partnership life, do we need to achieve a bit less blame culture. And a bit more of a family/partnership learning-points culture instead? As an aside, why do we blame in the first place? Is it our way of venting our frustration, the way a kettle pushes steam out of the neck of the vessel? Is it to put distance between our own shortcomings and someone else’s? Like complaining about an inaccurate weather forecast, causing us to get wet, but really it was because we didn’t bring a coat? Is it to make ourselves look better by making someone else look worse? Like a magician using misdirection to achieve glory from the audience?
Returning to families, would some families benefit from developing their own mission statement? For some, it might make the point of a family more obvious.
If some families decided to have a mission statement, should it be:
- to live in the moment?
- one where while every family member looks out for themselves – essentially a ‘survival of the fittest’, adapt as-best-you-can goal?
- to build something bigger than its members acting alone, with or without carrying passengers. And then carry to that momentum forward to the next generation intact? Incidentally, what’s being carried forward isn’t just the family estate (financial resources). But also, less tangible things like; wider family ties. And goodwill within the wider community (the opposite of vendettas).
For a quiet life, do parents want their children to simply get along, without arguing? Or do what smart, professional organisations ask of their staff i.e. use opportunities to cross-sell, up-sell & collaborate on various things.
Perhaps parents can achieve a double benefit – give themselves less of a home war-zone and help their children build positive relationships (starting at home), if they actively seek out opportunities for their kids to collaborate at home. And encourage siblings to promote each other’s talents to outsiders (cross-sell and up-sell).
Perhaps why some families lose a family member to a street gang is that they fail to achieve both the cross-sell and collaboration activities within the family. Leaving the gang to step into the vacuum instead. Clearly there are other factors operating too. But it follows that the stronger and more close-knit one ‘club’ becomes, the harder for another ‘club’ to lure away the members.
What do you think about families mimicking & adapting some things from the business world?