Comfort Zones and Personal Flexibility

If a person’s comfort zone is basically their attitude projected onto physical space and time, then personal flexibility might be a useful device at both ends of the projection.

At the source end, flexible thinking can work on attitude – sometimes we surprise ourselves at our own bravado, patience and tenacity. Feeling good, we might offer up a extra patience, a random act of kindness, or generosity. Or have an epiphany, and make a paradigm shift accordingly. One example of this is going from being a (romantic) relationship partner with a fear of dying, to becoming the parent of a new born, where you would literally die to save them from dying (apologies to the relationship partners who already think that about their partner).

Meanwhile, flexible provisioning works on time and space. If we change the range of resources available in our environment, make the timing of their availability more under our control, or alter the resource capacity, our comfort level can quickly change too.

A tyrant or bully has a comfort zone that exists in the space beyond and below the moral high ground. Their comfort zone can be countered by action to change their attitude (changing their incentives, imposing penalties, or threatening retaliations). Or by altering resources in the environment they seek to dominate. For example, downplaying the value or lending out the resource to another strong party in the short term.

If the bully is inside our own heads, a similar personal flexibility approach might apply. Therapy and friendship networks can help on attitude. Medication and smaller steps (to progress) can influence the resources available.

Ultimately we need to keep shifting our comfort zones. If only to cope with ongoing change and uncertainty. And to grow as human beings.

Simon