Families, Mission Statements and Fresh Thinking

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In our personal lives, including family life or partnership life, do we need to achieve a bit less blame culture. And a bit more of a family/partnership learning-points culture instead?  As an aside, why do we blame in the first place? Is it our way of venting our frustration, the way a kettle pushes steam out of the neck of the vessel? Is it to put distance between our own shortcomings and someone else’s? Like complaining about an inaccurate weather forecast, causing us to get wet, but really it was because we didn’t bring a coat? Is it to make ourselves look better by making someone else look worse?  Like a magician using misdirection to achieve glory from the audience?

Returning to families, would some families benefit from developing their own mission statement? For some, it might make the point of a family more obvious.

If some families decided to have a mission statement, should it be:

  • to live in the moment?
  • one where while every family member looks out for themselves – essentially a ‘survival of the fittest’, adapt as-best-you-can goal?
  • to build something bigger than its members acting alone, with or without carrying passengers. ­And then carry to that momentum forward to the next generation intact? Incidentally, what’s being carried forward isn’t just the family estate (financial resources). But also, less tangible things like; wider family ties. And goodwill within the wider community (the opposite of vendettas).

For a quiet life, do parents want their children to simply get along, without arguing? Or do what smart, professional organisations ask of their staff i.e. use opportunities to cross-sell, up-sell & collaborate on various things.

Perhaps parents can achieve a double benefit – give themselves less of a home war-zone and help their children build positive relationships (starting at home), if they actively seek out opportunities for their kids to collaborate at home. And encourage siblings to promote each other’s talents to outsiders (cross-sell and up-sell).

Perhaps why some families lose a family member to a street gang is that they fail to achieve both the cross-sell and collaboration activities within the family. Leaving the gang to step into the vacuum instead. Clearly there are other factors operating too.  But it follows that the stronger and more close-knit one ‘club’ becomes, the harder for another ‘club’ to lure away the members.

What do you think about families mimicking & adapting some things from the business world?

Simon

Fake News and Personal Flexibility

‘There is no sickness worse for me than words that to be kind must lie.’ Aeschylus

‘People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.’ Otto von Bismarck

‘People can choose between the sweet lie or the bitter truth. I say the bitter truth, but many people don’t want to hear it.’ Avigdor Lieberman

‘Propaganda does not deceive people; it merely helps them to deceive themselves.’ Eric Hoffer

‘For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.’ Bo Bennett

person reading the daily fake news newspaper sitting on gray couch
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So-called fake news is an age-old problem. And an annoying fixture in our personal and business lives.

So-called fake news can include:

  • accidental distortion– a version-control problem, information-relay error, false logic, false assumption, static, a reference error or typo. Or something misheard – perhaps generating a colourful rumour on the office grapevine.

A famous example of accidental distortion is about the WW1 message conveyed from the front-line trenches, shouted from trench to trench, back to the high command. It started off as the request ‘send reinforcements, we’re going to advance’. And ended up arriving as ‘send three and four pence, we’re going to a dance’.

  • deliberate distortion – an exaggeration, something taken out of original context. Maybe an outright lie, generated for commercial or personal gain.

Sometimes politicians rather than lie, simply evade the question, answering a different question, or changing the subject instead. At other times, their truth may be more damaging than fake news – a politician might promise one thing, but once elected, change their party’s policy entirely. Here the ‘news’ is real.  It’s the direction that has changed.

The method of collecting information to inform decision making, introduces opportunity for error at multiple points in the process. This blogger once served as a court juror and was surprised when a seemingly impartial police witness made a ‘rookie error’ on the time an event was alleged to have happened.

Court jurors weight the evidence testimony. Each juror has to do a mental-sorting exercise of the information presented – what is probably true and what is probably false. Incidentally, this mental-sorting exercise can be a form of personal flexibility – emotion fighting against rationality (heart and head). In this situation, it’s worth the jurors reassuring themselves that it is entirely natural to have an internal conflict. And that sometimes the internal ‘battle’ needs to rage, to make the resulting view more just. But that for something approaching justice to be done, a jury decision must be given, so a personal view on innocence/guilt must ultimately be taken by each juror.

‘It is well known that in war, the first casualty is truth – that during any war truth is forsaken for propaganda.’ Harry Browne

The method of information collection can introduce delay too. Or introduce selection bias in the data collected. The story about the drunk person searching for their lost car keys at night under the street light, because it was easier to look for them under the street light, is perhaps one example. For a court juror, it there’s been a ‘trial by media’ for the accused person before the court case even started, they may have to fight their own preconceived views from the start.

How can personal flexibility (PFL) counter so-called fake news?

  • be open to engaging other inputs, from trusted sources.
  • sample quick then sample slow.
  • investigate and fix errors. Ask yourself, is the motive of the fake news to cover up something? Or take attention away from something more concerning?
  • rely on independent verification.
  • lower the stakes regarding a wrong decision made.
  • consider publicly discrediting fake news sources, when you find them (whistleblowing).

The combination of the above 6 approaches demonstrates PFL at work.  And how it can be used to counter fake news.

Simon

Real Options and Personal Flexibility

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What has flexibility got to do with options?

Quite simply if you have more options, you have more flexibility. In uncertain situations, or if you are somehow keen to grow (wealth, skills, influence, reputation, character development), having options is valuable.

Of course, having more options isn’t useful if you can’t make a decision when time is pressing. And having a set of options that aren’t relevant to the problem you’re facing isn’t particularly helpful either. Unless you can trade them for the ones you actually want.

What are real options?

They’re not as scary as they sound. Wikipedia says ‘a real option itself, is the right—but not the obligation—to undertake certain business initiatives, such as deferring, abandoning, expanding, staging, or contracting a capital investment project’. In the personal flexibility sense, real options are rights we have paid for in the past and hold.  If the conditions are right, they can be used (exercised) at some point in the future, to buy or sell something to benefit ourselves.  Or benefit those we choose to help.

There are a couple of different types of real options. Call options are options we have purchased in the past, that give us the right to buy something. Put options are options we have purchased in the past, that give us the right to sell something.

What are some examples of call options in our personal lives i.e. things we’ve paid for in the past that give us PFL in the present and future?

  • Loyalty points, or frequent flier points accumulated, that are still valid. Purchase qualifying items and you have the right to use the points to obtain discounts on future purchases.
  • Multiple passports (the legitimate right to citizenship in multiple countries). Pay the application fee and once the passport is issued, you then have the legal right to buy the same things the other citizens can buy.
  • Insurance policies with a claim excess. Pay the insurance premium, make the claim, pay the claim excess and the item will then be replaced.
  • Personal credit cards and overdraft facilities. Pay the annual account fee and any interest charges to access the credit amount.
  • Fitness, health and knowledge you’ve built up, if they qualify you for access to something fairly exclusive in the future, that costs money.
  • Physical and data security measures and investments made. Pay the fee, log your security breach event, pay for the investigation and hopefully damage will be remedied.
  • Divorce papers – once signed and the divorce lawyer costs are paid, the papers give you the right to legally marry another person (providing they’re not already still married).

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What are some examples of put options in our personal lives i.e. things we’ve paid for in the past that give us (or our loved ones) the right to sell and hence PFL in the present and future?

  • Trial period agreements.
  • Product warrantees, price-matching features and money-back guarantees.
  • Sublease clauses. For example, you rent a two-bedroom flat and there’s a clause in the lease agreement allowing you to rent out the second bedroom for financial benefit.
  • Your estate (once you’ve paid the solicitor to draw up your will). Ownership of this option transfers to the beneficiaries of your estate, upon your death.

Real options and student career advice

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In the general education system, little emphasis seems to be given to teaching students how to manage their real options. Then, when students graduate & join the workforce, they lack awareness about real options management in the workplace. Instead, at best, students receive advice from relatives, friends or teachers about getting a good education and working hard, to open up more life choices to them.

Perhaps too many young people learn from life experience – the ‘school of hard knocks’ (why doesn’t Western culture strongly preach the folly of learning this way?). And learn from repeat situations (once bitten, twice shy), that having choices is valuable.

What the young people need is more advice on how not to get bitten. And coaching to position themselves to have choices other than getting bitten. Young adults may also learn from observation – being inspired by designers to mimic the design flexibility that they see.

In the view of this blogger, one of life’s ironies is that for many young people, by the time they realise that older people’s advice to them on the above things is just as relevant today as in yesteryear, the consequences of have few options and choices is already hitting them hard.

In summary, holding real options in our personal lives, is a tangible form of personal flexibility. It follows that if we want to increase our PFL, we should accumulate real options in advance, in the areas of PFL that we want to improve.

Some areas to look at, if personal growth and uncertainty management are some of your goals; obtaining real options concerning wealth, skills, influence, personal reputation and/or character development. A key point is to build up an ‘options portfolio’ i.e. don’t just concentrate on obtaining real options relating to one of them.

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Periodically, we will use or ‘exercise’ many of the real options we hold, so another key point is to replenish our stocks of real options regularly.

If you found this blog helpful, feel free to tell others. Constructive comments are also welcome.

 Simon

The Personal Flexibility Journey Begins…

‘The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.’ Albert Einstein

‘If you’re not stubborn, you’ll give up on experiments too soon. And if you’re not flexible, you’ll pound your head against the wall and you won’t see a different solution to a problem you’re trying to solve.’ Jeff Bezos

Hi and welcome to my new blog on personal flexibility (PFL). I’m excited to get this blog underway, as there’s lots to say and lots of ideas to help you.

PFL is a subject much bigger than just agility or stretching techniques. Personal Flexibility can help you:

  • manage changes,
  • manage uncertainty,
  • achieve personal growth,
  • become more resilient,
  • cope with some of life’s set backs.

Firstly, let’s separate flexibility into two strands. One is Personal Flexibility (PFL). The other is Business Flexibility (BFL).

The main focus of this blog is going to be on personal flexibility, since it’s been overlooked even more than business flexibility.

Business flexibility is a related & complimentary tool. If you are interested in Business Flexibility – feel free to visit my website www.sleicest-consulting.org.uk . There’s also a large handbook on business FL that I’ve developed behind that.

So what is personal flexibility? Essentially, it’s about developing options and extra capacity in your life. Both can be developed manually. Or you can utilise flexiscribes (things that code for flexibility). But more about that in a later blog.  Closely related is having the ability to use the PFL you possess.

Why does flexibility matter? We focus a lot on action & goals. We aren’t so good at building a winning hand in the first place. Or buying sufficient time to develop a better solution.

Flexibility gives you more freedom on what to do. And when to act.

Having more flexibility doesn’t itself cause indecision. For example, you might delay an important decision while you wait for more information. Likewise, saying to yourself ‘I can be anything I want to be’ isn’t the same as having tangible options to open various doors.

Perhaps take a moment at this point, to reflect on a few negative experiences you’ve had in your life (job redundancy, sibling rivalry, dating?). Now imagine if you’d built up wider options and chosen amongst them instead. Of course, you can’t be certain what would have happened. But you probably have a better idea of the regrets you’d have avoided. True?

How can you practice PFL? Thinking flexibly is part of it – see a later blog on this. Gather and manage a personal portfolio of options. Build extra capacity among the resources you do control. Benchmark and actively monitor your stocks of PFL. Use your influence by exercising your options. Or not. Feel uplifted and empowered. Then press the repeat button.

When should you practice PFL? When you expect or encounter uncertainty. When you want growth. When you want to manage the existing risks in your life better. And when you want to change things for the better. Having PFL can make you happier & more successful at various points in your life, so stick with it!

I’ll try and publish regular blogs on Personal Flexibility, so please return to this site for regular updates. In time, I’ll include some product/service reviews of stuff that has flexibility at its core. And referrals to what others are saying about flexibility. My aim to keep the site positive, as well as free of politics & religion.

Simon