From help me… to help me to help you

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Photo by Martin Péchy on Pexels.com

If many people aren’t so much against us, just for themselves, then how can their behaviour and attitudes help us grow indirectly?

One obvious one that springs to mind is young children. They’re naturally self-centred as are on a steep learning curve about the World. Our job as adults is to help them cope and thrive in positive ways, to help make the future World a better place. Their feedback coaxes us as baby sitters or parents to behave better (be more patient and generous) and learn to improvise with just crying to go on. As a side benefit, the fresh way they look at the World helps us as jaded adults to look at things we take for granted. And see the beauty, the simplicity, or the humour that we previously overlooked.

For those of us that own pets or have gardens, our observation of the pet (or plant’s) response makes us a better pet companion, or a better gardener. Their ability to adapt sometimes surprises us. I saw a great Facebook post recently of a chimpanzee in captivity that could understand American sign language and one of the first things it taught its offspring was that sign language!

To some extent, other people’s problems become our opportunities. All we have to do is communicate well and take the time to listen. In return we get a sense of value, a feeling of satisfaction, a growing reputation and perhaps some kind of monetary reward too.

We might be under time pressure ourselves, but if we take the time to listen to someone under the same time pressure, solving their problem while buying time to solve our own problem, it can work out well for all concerned.

Food for thought?

Simon

Going the extra mile

The faster the pace in our lives, the more we take shortcuts to cope. Finding more shortcuts, or making shortcuts on the shortcuts are two solutions.

Controlling the pace of our lives is a third solution. That takes a different kind of flexibility. Sometimes it’s about:

• changing people’s expectations of us,

• changing our expectations of ourselves,

• recognising ahead of time how long something will really take,

• putting in place measures that mean when we do speed up the pace, the risk of crashing is lessened.

Using flexibility thinking, means switching from how and when to do more, to why do more? If working faster at work is desirable because the boss wants more done, ask yourself what you can do that will achieve the same overall result (make your boss look effective to their boss and help the customer to a greater extent) without taking shortcuts to work faster.

Perhaps gather some data from your observations of customer needs and if the volume of basic tasks can be outsourced to the customer as pre-transaction work, that frees you up to provide more meaningful services to the customer. Then everyone wins.

In a home setting, if it gets harder and harder to juggle; working a job, running a house and raising a family, taking more and more short cuts probably isn’t going to cut it (no pun intended). Instead, ask why am I the one doing so much. Who can I empower? Who else has a stake in making this work? Children learning new skills is how they grow as people. Extended family helping out is how they connect to your immediate family. Neighbours exchanging favours eg taking an Amazon delivery on behalf of the person next door, is how communities grow again.

Finally, if the increasing pace of life forces some time cuts elsewhere, switch to multi-tasking – swap dedicated gym workouts for physical house maintenance (painting and moving furniture, mowing the lawn, landscaping, lugging shopping back to your house, repairing stuff).

And if you have to cut time, make sure you shed some time exposed to negative things – listening to excessive or duplicated criticism, watching reality shows that don’t teach you something, or counselling people who aren’t going to change.

Simon

Catchphrases of life

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

On a good day, we walk three paths. One with our feet. One with our hearts. And one with our minds.

Time with little ones is precious. A day spent with the under fives is worth a month of arguments with teenagers.

Meeting your soulmate is like two satellites orbiting around the relationship to be. Either you keep moving, or you commit to splashing down and creating a beautiful ecosystem.

Most beautiful thing in the universe -a mother’s love for her children. The most ugly thing – male vanity.

Simon